Day 20: The Dog Day

August 18, 2010

Date: August 15, 2010
From: Berea, KY
To: Harrodsburg, KY
Distance: 52.88 miles
Time: 5:24:08
View Garmin Data >

Snickering like a madwoman, I am flying down a hill and can’t quite believe it. What all signs are pointing to. I feel like I’ve gotten away with the crime of the century. That my little hand has reached up onto Nan’s cooling rack, swiped a scone, and safely made it to my hidey-hole out the back shed to eat it without her catching me.

The open farmland and rolling hills hold their hands to mouths and whisper:

“They’re behind you. They’re behind you.”


Berea, as it turns out, is considered the gateway to the Appalachians. Gateway. Gate through which I just passed in a reverse direction. Gate right outta there!

As a cycle further through the day, my disbelief slowly starts to fade, and I accept it. Absorb it into my spirit.

Yes, oh rolling land that speaks to me. The mountains are behind me.

Behind me.

Well, those particular mountains.

The morning has been a disaster in terms of getting out in a timely manner, but I’m readily accepting my fate and just moving on. It’s all you can do. After setting my brain to leave at SIX O’CLOCK ON THE DOT, I had everything down in the lobby of the hotel in Berea by 5:55am and then bumped into a group of cyclists. In the hotel. Getting ready to hit to road but shoveling in a free breakfast before they pushed off.

Breakfast. Probably not a bad idea.

For some reason, I came over all bashful and didn’t want to be seen packing Mr. Zimmerman in front of a group of cyclists. Lest I be judged for my gear. “Did you see how much stuff she had! Wowee, no wonder she’s dying.”

I decided that rather than grab food from the free breakfast and run with it, I’d take some time and sit down. Savor the taste of cheap cereal and overly sugared pastries. Watch the weather report on the tele.

While sitting there, one of the cyclists fired up a conversation. He told me they were from ‘mouth full of marbles’. Well, that’s obviously what his answer was obscured by because my dumb-arse ears couldn’t parse the information or sound coming out of his mouth.

“I’m sorry, where?”


I realized suddenly that he was saying Louisville.

He went on to explain that every year a bunch of cyclists from the Louisville cycling club do a four-day route around the area with a support vehicle.

Support vehicle. Oh, how I wish…

I hung around a little after he left making a real breakfast out of it. Eating this and that. Having a little coffee (which is always a mistake at the start of a ride), trying to figure out the waffle batter dispenser. By the time I made it outside, the group were about ready to push off. I sprung one cyclist looking closely at Precious.

“Just trying to figure out if it’s carbon,” he explained.

After settling curiosities about Precious and his glistening haunches, I listened to their leader give some instructions to the group. Gave a longing look to their un-loaded bikes. Imagined what it must be like to tackle their days with support and all those people around them.

Eh, enough of this sappy shit. Get packing. You’re way behind.

As I loaded up the trailer, the support driver, a lovely woman whose name has completely flown out of my brain and into the ‘never to be found again’ gutter, chatted to me about where I was going and doing. I enjoyed the chinwag immensely (sometimes just getting to have a chat is the tonic you need to buoy you up for the day), but now I was really late. It was, brace yourself, 8.30am before I hit the road.

Disaster start!

I say disaster start because I had planned to, I dunno, maybe, perhaps, if things were going well, who knows, feeling great, why stop now, you never know your luck, let’s see if we can do it, go 100 miles all the way to Bardstown today.

That plan was viscously in jeopardy.

And probably a dumb idea anyway as today was, yet again, a high heat advisory day.

With complaining quads and a belly full of lead toast, I toddled off through Berea and was spat out the other side onto a wide-open road of possibility.

A few nice downhills. A few slow uphills. Not too steep. And that’s when the joyful giddiness begins.

Holy buckets, the mountains. I am through the mountains. I have survived.

The glee permeates my body through sinew and nerve. From deep in my toes to the top of my head and radiating down through to my fingers. Can you feel it, Precious? Can you?

It’s not all sunshine and daisies though. Every time I hit a climb my brain panics.

“It’s a trick! There are more! You are a fool to believe it!”

But a long hot climb and a nice chill-out descent brings me back. This pattern is repeated throughout the day as I roll through open farmland. Miles tick by. I am feeling quite chipper.

But then there are dogs to worry about. Real dogs, not the chase-and-give-up dogs of Virginia.

People have an uncanny knack for laying concrete beds of fear in my heart and leaving footprints set there for all time. Everyone had done a fantastic job when it came to talk about the unleashed Kujos of Kentucky. Color me terrified.

I’d thought about it a lot. The possibilities for my dog downfall were many. Limbs torn off; ankles gnawed on. Perhaps a yappy dog would run into my front spokes as I flew by and get flung out the other side while I would be launched into the air like a missile of “whoopsie!” and into one of those ditches that I seem so fond of. Or perhaps I’d be set upon by a full pack of mutts and eaten in one gulp. ‘Ah, it was a good life,’ I’d think as the saliva-laden maw of a fiery-eyed canine closed over my jugular and my vision faded to a ‘oh, crap’ black.

If I had a wrist that wasn’t such a big girl’s blouse, I might have more confidence. Be all gung-ho about outrunning dogs. But I’m scared, really scared, of falling off my bike and re-breaking my wrist.

That would really suck.

I decide to continue my plan of attack that has worked amazingly well through Virginia. When dogs run out, barking their little barks, I will simply stop. I will summon my Dad’s tone of voice when he yells at his dogs. I will speak in an authoritative manner. Then I will get the hell out of there.

The morning heat is cranked past comfortable and I roll on. Past farms and tobacco. Past corn and cows. The smell is very rural. I’m not being a dick when I say that. I’m a farm girl. This smells like life. Like things are growing and dying and getting on with it.

I hear music. Death knell perhaps? Dogs ahead that I’m not aware of? Violins rise up into the still air. Mandolin cuts through. As I roll into Kirksville, I try locating the origin. For a second, I think there are speakers above the intersection I’m approaching, but as I get there, I see that the things hanging there are just traffic lights. I stop at the intersection and simply listen. It’s quite beautiful and calm in the stillness of the mid-morning.

Amazing Grace. Coming from somewhere further on in the little town. Serene and kinda eerie.

Today’s route has me turning down little lanes and away from chaos. Away from chaos until I crest a small rise and move quietly past a barn. Three dogs at my heel in an instant, one white and giant and pink gummed. Barking. Yelling at me in his outside voice.

I stop, heart beating fast, but not as frightened as I thought I might be in this situation.

“Go home!” I say in my most authoritative voice, which to many is laughable. A tone more akin to ‘please pass the salt’ at a stranger’s dinner table.

Two dogs back off. Boss dog is all, “no way.”

I yell some more. He does too. We yell at each other. It’s a regular yell-fest.

“Don’t make me use this,” I say, pointing to the can of HALT! I have hanging from Precious’s stem.

No response.

I take it out.

Having never used the product, all I know is that I need to pay attention to wind direction. It would be just hilarious to spray it on myself. Which is exactly the sort of thing I’d do. Because I am incompetent.

With brave intention, I point it at the dog. The dog shows no recognition.

My weak index finger is unable to depress the button. True, I haven’t done any broken-wrist finger strengthening exercises for a while – bad girl! – but I thought I should be able to do something as simple as this. Press a damn button. Perhaps the button is stuck? Perhaps it is a defective can?

As the dog continues to berate me, I puzzle over it. Half turn the can and stick my thumb down on it.

Fffffffttttt! Off a stream of red liquid goes. To my left and streets away from the dog. That straw over there sure got what was coming to it! I may have missed the dog, but he was frightened enough by it to back off several meters. This gave me a chance to slowly move away.

My first HALT! usage is a rousing success. I’m just surprised I didn’t shoot it into my own face.

I float down the joy that is Jack Turner road. A single lane cut across road, flanked by trees and shade, but narrow and slick with humidity. I’m going fast and enjoying the thrill as I pop out the other side and back onto a busier road. In seconds, more dogs. More yelling. More, “he won’t bite” assurances, yelled from back porches.

The road closed sign ahead is worrisome, but I ignore it. Not much choice really. I’ve noticed a bike is a lot narrower than a car and quite often able to squeeze by road maladies. A lot narrower. Just an observation I’ve made. You should make a note of that.

Climb. A long hot hill. It does not faze me, only makes me sweat heavily and be more grateful for the downhill on the other side.

Heat dial goes up. I start to cook. There is very little shade but pleasant enough riding. As I get closer to Harrodsburg, I start to calculate things. Like how unbelievably hot it is and how it’s only noon. That I know the stifling humidity only gets worse as the afternoon stretches out. That once I get to Harrodsburg, I’ll still have 47 or so miles to Bardstown. In this heat.

Decision is made. Hotel. Harrodsburg. Air con. Done. Sorry Bardstown, KY. Tomorrow is your day. It will be all about you and only you. Be patient.

I’m getting close now and feeling happy to have settled on this decision. The rollers are getting bigger, the traffic heavier. At one point, I’m chugging up a hill and am aware of the line of traffic behind me. Cranking it just a little harder, I make it to the top and pull off to let them pass.

One guy slows down as he passes by and yells out his window. I’m pretty sure he says “Dickwad!”

Puzzling. Perhaps I misheard? Perhaps the sound of what he said was taken by the wind, mangled, and shoved in my ears as Dickwad? I think on it.

Ah, I know what he said. He said Go with God. Thank you, Sir! You go with God too! Peace, brother!

It’s quite a tense few miles, those last few into town. Sunday traffic. People trying to get to their yard sales and church and kin visits. And me, snailing my way up these hills and trying to stay as far right as I possibly can so as not to piss people off.

Finally, I am in town. The heat rising off the road is intense. I feel drained and spent. I’ve drank all my water, even the hot stuff, and so I pull over at a coke machine in front of a closed store. Up the road, I can sniff air-con.

You get what you pay for in a place called the Economy Hotel. But when you’re cooking from the inside, the lure of cold air and shade is overwhelming. You will endure the smell of the room, the dankness of the curtains, the stained walls and roughness of the sheets.

You will simply sit there with your face in front of the wall air conditioner and thank your lucky stars it only cost $40. Later, after a shower is had and humanity returns, you will look at the place and think:

When I have committed some sinful crime and I am on the lam, this is where I shall come.

Go to the next day > Day 21: The Doddle Day

  1. Reply

    Justin G

    August 19, 2010

    Congrats on getting past the mountains and past day 10 for that matter. For dogs I have a 3 stage approach.

    1. Yell firmly (as your already doing)
    2. Spray a bit of water at them from the water bottle (scares them enough to back off most of the time)
    3. I’ve never had to use it but have my Zefal Frame Pump is there in case a dog ever goes from pursuit to attack mode.

    For jerks yelling out their windows, I like your approach better than mine. Being a big guy I typically flip them off or yell back. I’m going to try to take the zen like approach that you do and forget about it.

  2. Reply

    Josh in Upstate NY

    August 19, 2010

    Oh how these entries entertain! Thank you! While sitting in my little cube farm counting the hours until I can put in some saddle time this evening, I hold comfort in reading this and knowing someone is having fun!

    Ride on!

  3. Reply

    Dr. Kyle

    August 19, 2010

    You Go Girl!

    You’re getting the ‘dog’ thing down. Speeding away only invites a crash (unless you’re far enough ahead).
    Make Halt your best friend. Dogs learn quick and speeding away re-enforces the next chase. A dose of Halt they remember next time. I’ve trained many a dog that way. Safer for the dog and you.

  4. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Congratulations on being finished with the mountains! That’s a great feeling, I’m sure. Enjoy your ride through KY. I look forward to hearing about the rest of your journey. Be careful out there.

  5. Reply

    Bob P. from DailyMile

    August 19, 2010

    I usually yell “BAD OWNER, BAD OWNER”, and the dogs look confused and go away…, and maybe the owner hears me and bows their head in shame. Or not.

  6. Reply

    Lance W

    August 19, 2010

    I’m loving your posts, feels like I’m along for the ride. You’ve come a long way from the 5 borough bike tour on ’07 :). Stay safe.

  7. Reply

    Angie A.

    August 19, 2010

    Oh how I envy you. You are my first in the morning when I’m at work obviously not working. Looking forward to you arriving in MO. Cant really tell by any maps I’ve found if you come anywhere near Springfield but it’s a nice town – getting more bike friendly. Best of luck to you

  8. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Thank you for taking us with you on this tour. This post was by far the best, and like everyone else looking forward to hearing more. Please be safe.

  9. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    My sister did the bicentennial ride in 1976. I believe in the same country/route.
    I’m loving seeing rural America with you. Congrats on the biking and chronicling. Hang in there.

  10. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Cycling tourists can find friendly contacts along their route with My family is currently hosting a fellow who’s on a long circular tour of North America from Quebec. He’s thankful for a place to stay for a night or two (enabling him to explore the city without the expense of a hotel.)

  11. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    As a cyclist with a lifelong love of the English language, I have to tell you:
    1 – I am loving your story.
    2 – You are one of helluva writer.
    … which is why your use of “phase” leapt off the screen at me. May I suggest “faze”.
    Pedal on

  12. Reply

    Nurse Betsy

    August 19, 2010

    Noodle, I always check for new stories. Love hearing about your travels. Be safe, holding you in my prayers. I also envy you for this trip. I would love to do it someday. Hang in there girlfriend.

  13. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    I was the guy looking at Mr Zimmerman before you left from the hotel in Berea. Interestingly Rev. Zimmerman used to be the Presbyterian minister in Berea a number of years ago and I now work with his daughter in Louisville.

    Hope the rest of your trip goes well.

    Ride strong.

  14. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Great job Janeen!

    I just noticed that there is an article about Precious at Bike Reviews.

  15. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    A great read as always. And very enlightning for those of us who have only done a few tours pootling around but never anything as big as your voyage.

    Am curious about this Halt! stuff though, sounds like an interesting thing to carry, and probably much cheaper than my last encounter with dogs which cost a pair of pants and waterproofs grrr. Dog’s do worry me though as it’s always a balancing act of what do you do?! stay and get eaten of try and power on and possibly either end up in plaster or do serious injury to the dog if you hit it 🙁

    As for the loon shouting out of his window, shame the Halt! wasn’t available then 😛

  16. Reply

    Josh in Upstate NY

    August 19, 2010

    @ asmathews, I wonder how Janeen feels about being called British in that article…

  17. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Did I really have a mouth full of marbles? Sorry, I don’t do mornings. That was apple juice, not coffee. I don’t do coffee either.

  18. Reply

    Rev Johannes Myors

    August 19, 2010

    I’m really enjoying reading about your travels. What I’ve done when a dog starts chasing me is to yell out “Stay” in the loudest voice I can make. 9 times out of 10 the dog(s) will stop in their tracks. It depends how big the dog is. The smaller the dog, the more brave it seems to be.

    Congrats on making it through the Appalachians. I’ll be coming into them in a couple of days. I’ll be taking the G.A.P. (Great Allegheny Passage) from McKeesport, PA (south of Pittsburgh) to Cumberland, MD and then the C&O Towpath to Washington, D.C. 400 miles of car-free travel.

    Hope that the rest of your trip goes well.

    Take care,

    In HIS Draft,

    the Cycling Rev

  19. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Ha, Mike! No, you didn’t have a mouth full of marbles, my ears just weren’t ready for it. Didn’t realize that’s how you pronounced Louisville. I would have gone the fancy route and made myself sound like a total tourist with the ‘lewisville’ way.

    Everytime I heard someone say Louisville after that, I thought of you. 🙂

  20. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Hey Noodle!

    It is great that you are getting great mileage, however pace your self as not to have an overuse injury like a knee problem or something like that. Also have a bike mechanic look at Precious ever now and then to check for saddle height securemant issues and lets not forget Mr Zimmerman!

    Happy Travels, following all your entries!

  21. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    I found your blog a few months ago. I can’t remember who told me or where exactly I found it. I hadn’t checked in in a while and was reminded of it recently. I was shocked to read about your accident and felt disappointed for you. I was really rooting for you when you wrote you were determined to re-start your ride. I have read all your entries to date and can honestly say I am hooked. Your writing style is engaging and your adventure is an inspiration. I will be following from now on and I look forward to more great stories. I also have personal experience with cancer in my family, so I appreciate your efforts to raise money for Livestrong.

    I live in Brooklyn. When you get back, I’ll look for you in Prospect Park.

    Be well, be safe, ride hard.

    Good on ya.

  22. Reply


    August 19, 2010

    Hi Janeen,

    So the Scotsman that I rode with in Idaho is now in Nickerson, Kansas. Funny name, huh?

    He is not an optimist like you, and he doesn’t believe there’s a snowball’s chance in Missour-ah that you will meet up somewhere by chance in your travels, so I feel compelled to engineer it. He’s pulling 70-90 miles per day, and a Bob trailer named Bob. I think you will need to meet him, he’s funny too. Would you be up for that? Are you staying on the transam thru Missouri?



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